i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
