I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
