I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
