Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
