I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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