I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You ruined the universe
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
