i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
