I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Screwed.edu
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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