Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
