At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
