She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
