i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize