PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
