dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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