4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
