i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize