I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
