no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize