love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
