Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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