I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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