nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
