the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize