you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
