addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
