she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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