Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize