Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
