its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
