just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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