what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Pooping to opera.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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