I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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