I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
