woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ttyl tear gas
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
