Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
do nipples grow back?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
