is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
