Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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