Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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