you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is my gift to your gina
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
