What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
