Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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