I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
