he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
