i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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