spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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