he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
