walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
