Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
