I'm eating all of the evidence.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
