I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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