Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
