his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
