Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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