guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
