dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
