Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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