He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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