let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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