After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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