Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
