i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
