Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
