I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
