so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize