You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
