We named our party play list daddy issues
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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