Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize