bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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