im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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