How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
